National Energy Security and Good Medical Practice

Sound like good ideas to me.

Apparently, they sound good to Evan Bayh and Hillary Clinton, too.

Working sixty-some hours this week, I could use some energy.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Then why aren't you in bed?"\\

Making Vote Fraud Easier

Gee, that sounds like a bad idea to me.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Do the right thing. It won't make any difference, but you'll feel better."\\

Sometimes, Life....

Sometimes life just won't let you live.

I feel kind of like Woody Allen's character in Love and Death, where he recounts the woes of his life, concluding with a small sore on the inside of his lower lip.

** My grandfather has colon cancer, and it has metastasized.

** Another family member is an alcoholic, and we're reaching the limit of what we can do for him.

** And I do in fact have a nasty spot on the inside of my mouth.

Wounds on thge inside of the mouth actually heal faster than damage to the skin. But it sure doesn't seem that way when you have one.

I bit the inside of my right cheek the other day, and it hurt so badly that I couldn't take solid food for three days.

Oh, well. I'm trying to lose weight anyway.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "This is not a good week to go crazy. Try to postpone that and other recreational activities."\\

She Plays One On Radio

This morning I was spinning the radio dial and came upon Laura Schlessinger's radio show. Gee, she's still out there? Sure enough.

And still calling herself "Dr. Laura" to give herself a folksy air of authority (interestingly, she really does have a doctorate...in physiology).

She was reading something which she said was a fax from a gay male listener who gushed over her "moral values" and just happened to mention how a few years back she had suddenly dropped her savage vendetta against gay men (but only in order to focus on the problems of "traditional families", of course), and observed on the funny coincidence that her sudden change of format came at just the time that a massive national boycott of her show (which she herself at the time called "financially devastating") was peaking.

She closed this reading with the writer asking her not to use his name, lest his tires be slashed by gay civil rights activists.

Now, for all I know, she really did read all of that off a fax sent to her by a real listener, who might even be gay. But the combination of fawning adulation with an extremely convenient recitation of the Schlessinger version of the spanking she got from the gay community leads me to accuse her of sock puppetry.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You, on the other hand, only put your words into the mouth of an inanimate object...that doesn't even have a mouth."\\

Roof Torn Off -- But That's Okay By Us

Noty as hot today as it had been, yet this was the day that I decided to turn pale, with a racing pulse and a profoundly sick feeling. Who knows what it was? Oh, well.

In between periods of lying down, I pulled some more roofing nails from the broken shingles Jake had been showering down on the tarp on the lawn.

Seeing the roof with its skin off reminded me of earlier projects in and around the house, and of schemes I devised over the years for restoring houses without having to restore them. My personal favorite is enclosing the entire house in a geodesic dome or in a zome. That way, not only do you not have to worry about the leaky roof, you can even tear the whole roof off and have a sun deck. Well, just a thought.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "A house is a machine for keeping your books dry."\\

You Mean, Kill A Person? Deliberately? That's Barbaric!

We have been warned for years that international treaties regarding war crimes, torture and the treatment of POWs might one day resulty in American service members being tried in foreign courts, where any war crimes they commit would be treated as though they were war crimes.

Now, Bush Administration officials have discovered that the War Crimes Act of 1996 obliges the U.S. government to respond to (some) violations of the Geneva Convention as though they were violations of the Geneva Convention.

Some persons charged under it might even be in danger of the death penalty, which they would not face in most foreign courts.

Is there no end to such insanity?

Well, probably. Legislation is now being written creating exemptions for, well, everybody.

But the law itself will not be repealed, because the USA takes war crimes very seriously.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You should see how serious Dick Cheney's face looks right now."\\

Free Choice Does In Fact Save Lives.

FreeChoiceSavesLives.org has sent me an e-mail asking me to ask my representatives in Congress to provide students with complete and accurate birth control and prophylactic information. I think that's a good idea, don't you?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I do."\\

Liberal Outrage

Silly liberals. So angry all the time.

And over the silliest little things.

Like people who have lost everything else, now being deprived of the most basic human rights.

Stuff like that.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "At times, the highest expression of love is attack."\\

Things People Send Me

It's hot. Soooo hot. Too hot to climb up to the lookout, even if there might be a breeze up there. Can't believe that Kathe's son Jake is willing to go out on the roof and do shingling when it's so hot. Still, this is the week when he's here....

It's so hot that the rats, in their cage in the living room, are lying around separately, not in one big pile.

And on a day like this, what are people doing? Sending me the darnedest things in my e-mail, that's what.

The Nose Museum.

The Sasquatch Militia.

Forgotten Heroes.

In other words, all kinds of stuff.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You will receive mail from a friend."\\

One Small Step

[Recycled from 20 July 2005]

It happened.

For all the horror and stupidity that came before and since, I will spend this day remembering that we managed to do it once.

And we will do it again, and make it mean something.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Yes."\\

George, Meet Veto

Mr. President*:

Congratulations on discovering the existence of the veto. I hope you will come to have a beneficial relationship with it, and that it will come to take tyhe place of your imaginary friend, the signing statement.

In a few days, if they have any gumption at all, Congress will soon introduce you to another new friend, called "override". Have fun.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "By the way, you can't veto articles of impeachment."\\

Mickey Spillane

He died.

So, I guess it's really true: Nobody is too tough to die.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Grrrr."\\

"...with a chance of bugs."

More likely a certainty of them, depending on where you fly in connection with the storm. Gee, lots of bugs, all right.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Bzzzzzz."\

Da Vinci Days, 2006

Everything was smaller than last year (which was smaller than the year before that...), with the exception of the sidewalk chalk art, which continues to spread further and further from its origins on Madison Avenue above the Art Center.

This year, I finally did the thing I'd been saying for years I would: do my own sidewalk art in front of the house. With black tempera and a roller, I painted a narrow strip on the edges of the sidewalk in front of the house, on the Jefferson side. Then, up one side and down the other, I used an assortment of brighly-colored oil pastels to write "...and God said," [insert Newton's formula for light here] "...and there was light."* I interrupted the formulae to add my favorite (and most relevant) quote from da Vinci, "Mathematics is the alphabet in which God has written the universe."

I liked it well enough that I'm already thinking about next year. I think a border on the sidewalk again, maybe a selection of quotations, or a poem.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I notice that you've actually linked to a site where 'God said' Maxwell's Wave Equation 'and there was light'."\
\\John says, "I couldn't find a link to the site where I first downloaded the page of Newton's formulae."//

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "By the way, it's pretty dark in here. Could you spring for some LEDs?"\\

Still An Issue, For Some Reason

Should rape survivors be guaranteed access to emergency contraception?

Good grief, why is this even an issue?

But since it is, make sure your representatives in Congress are on the right side of it.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Don't be evil."\\

Well, *I* Noticed

...that The Lion King was a remake of Kimba the White Lion.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You are not the only one to feel that way."\\

Vegetables

Vegetables

“just because they can’t say anything
doesn’t mean they don’t hear you coming”;
tomatoes in particular feel pain
thin girlish skin and
seeds quaking in jelly at the first prick
and carrots, shrieking silent
like St. Bartholomew as you peel them
from foot to head: they feel,

they feel. Disemboweled peas

slide into tunbrils, dizzy
with air, beets bleed on the
sinkboard, celery wilts with its heart
in our hands, squash
turns pale on our tables
and when you pick up the knife
and walk across the kitchen, shoeheels softly drumming
even the coarse hydra-headed potato hears you humming

Peter Meinke

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "The situation is more complicated than you suppose."

Conservatives Starting to Act Conservative?

Maybe.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Then again, maybe not."\\

Weighing In, July 2006

Well, according to the scale I just stepped on, I now weigh 224 pounds, down ten int he first month.

I suspect that's not accurate -- I don't feel as though I've lost ten pounds, and my clotheds don't seem to fit any differently. I don't remember whether I was clothed or naked for ht elast weigh-in, nor which scale I used.

Oh, well, it'll all average out.

On a couple of much weightier topics,

here's Kate Michelman's personal story of what stem cells mean to her and her family.

and here's a petition to sign to urge your representatives in Congress (remember? the old-time legislative branch, that passed laws before signing statements were invented?) to endorse access to birth control.

//The Magic Eight-ball says, "Focus on what's important."\\

This Is My Flag

(Recycled from 10 September 2004)[Recycled again from 12 February 2005] [and again from 10 December 2005]

Yes, it's true, I brought a U.S. flag to the nightly war protest, and it was to join in, not to "counter-protest".

The question is not, why did I bring our flag to the rally. The question is, why do you seem to think it belongs to the pro-war people?

Why didn't any of you bring a flag? Yes, the Earth-from-space photographic flag is nice, and so is the UN flag, and the rainbow PACE flag, but what about OUR flag?

Is this flag born in a leftist revolution against colonialism, the flag that smashed fascism and freed the slaves, not good enough for you?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't forget your roots".\\

This is My Country

For the first time in several years, I had the night of the 4th off, and could watch the fireworks with Kathe. In the intervening years, Kathe has found a good place for watching the show, on Monroe Avenue between 9th and 10th. Ten blocks from the riverfront, where thousands gather, but close enough to get a good view, with the added benefit of being well-placed to catch the echoes coming back toward the river.

Two things I've seen online touch my heart this 4th of July. One was an abominable caricature of the Statue of Liberty, holding a cross instead of a torch, erected by the World Overcomers Outreach Ministries Church in Memphis, Tennessee.

It's hard to put into words my revulsion at the sight of that blasphemous statue. To replace the Torch of Liberty, enlightening the world with no exceptions, with a cross, barring the door to all but the religiously correct, is simply obscene.

The other thing is something vastly better: an essay by Saoba (from a link posted by Supergee) on why she damn well does celebrate the Fourth, no matter what kind of incompetent louse happens to be President.

Thank you, Saoba. You do my heart good. You make me feel as though maybe this experiment we are living in has not yet failed completely.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Answer not yet clear."\\

Letter From Palestine

Pass it on:

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article13824.htm

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You will shortly receive an important letter."\\

So What if Roe v. Wade Were Overturned?

What's the worst that could happen?

Oh.

//The Magic Eight Ball says, "Don't ask questions if you don't want to hear the answer."\\

The Kitten of Doom

1) Or is it the doom of kitten?

2) Kathe sent me this important message: Pssst! Bush is listening. Use big words.

3) Jake sent this:
http://www.media.ebaumsworld.com/swf/supercoolpic.swf
a way cool "zooming" picture.

4) Kathe and I found this book at a friend's house, and now we want one: Giraffes? Giraffes!

5) Kathe sent me this tasty item: Cthocolate.

6) Kathe is also the source for this: http://draftgore2008.org/node/143

7) Kathe also advised me of a plan for a thirty-meter telescope: http://www.tmt.org/ Thirty meters, huh? Guess that's pretty long, all right.... Oh. Thirty meters wide.

8) Also worthy of note: Jin Wicked's comic strip "Crap I Drew on My Lunch Break http://crap.jinwicked.com/?comic=302
, which makes me wish I was eating what Jin is eating.

9) I'de heard of The Meaning of Liff when it first came out, but never guessed that it had become a website until Kathe tipped me off: http://folk.uio.no/alied/TMoL.html


10) Finally, a plug for the Countess' soaps, which we are hoping to market for her in Corvallis: http://trishwilson.typepad.com/blog/2006/06/an_update_on_ou.html


//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "This is not the question you should be asking."\\

To Do This Summer

(With thanks to Acephalous for the idea).

1) Rest up from nursing school.
2) Lose 35 pounds (mostly nursing-school related).
3) Revive my massage practice.
4) Resume doing housework.
5) Blog daily.
6) Colonoscopy.
7) Refrain from detailing colonoscopy on blog.
8) Wardrobe triage.
9) Finish one of my stories intended for publicatiuon and actually send it round to magazines.
10) Gird myself for the resumption of nursing school.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You know what you need to do."\\

Concrete in Bloom

I was looking at old posts today, reading about summers past, when the back yard became an extension of the house, and especially the summer of 2004, when the street was torn up and excavated so deeply that we could walk along with the curb at eye level.

It's summer again, and the back yard is living space again, but with a difference. Waldy's friend Lisa is camping out there with her puppy, to facilitate training him.

There's fresh pavement again, too, but this time just a few slabs of the sidewalk on the Tenth Street side of the house. Kathe and I rounded up some 2006 pennies and covered them in silicone caulk, and butried them under the gravel. Now there's fresh concrete on top of them, and most likely nobody will ever see them. But maybe....

Maybe when the time comes to break up those slabs and replace them, someone will happen to turn up one of those pennies, brush of fthe crumbling remnants of silicone, and find a bright, shiny 2006 Lincoln cent.

Maybe they'll pass it around among the crew, and one of them will say, "I think this was put here on purpose."

And someone else will look thoughtful and say something like, "People were very religious back then."

Elsewhere in the news, George W. Bush remains impeachable. Let's get on it.

And here's why: http://peacetakescourage.cf.huffingtonpost.com/animations/wwjd.html

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Yes."\\

Weighing In, June 2006

They're tearing up the sidewalk on the 10th Street side of the house. It's nothing like the great excavation of 2004, but it's a small disruption in our routine, and interesting to watch. We also picked up a ton or so of new broken-pavement flagstones for the yard, thanks to the kind co-operation of the sidewalk workers.

When I started nursing school, I knew that it would be hard enough going to school and working 40+ hours per week. I knew that some things would just have to be allowed to slide.

One was housework (thanks, Kathe!). Another was my massage practice (I've had only a handful of appointments this year). A third was my weight.

I deliberately avoided scales. It was painfully obvious just to see my belly (or to lug it around the house) that I was getting fatter, a lot fatter. But never mind: suck down the sugared coffee and munch the Mexi-Snax chips and get the homework done, worry about it later.

I weighed myself earlier this month and found I weighed 234 pounds -- almost as much as the last time I resolved to get my weight down. Oh, well, time for a new project.

You can tweak the amount of exercise you get, or the composition of your diet, but in the final analysis, the only way to get your body to metabolize its stored fat is to enter the state nurses call "altered nutrition: less than bodily requirements", and that state is acutely painful.

I'm having migraines almost daily, partly from the weight loss and partly from going off caffeine. Oh, well. I'll just have to get through it.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "One thing at a time."\\

Save the Voting Rights Act

From time to time, I'm reminded that our current difficulties with Little Mister Too Big For His Codpiece is not the worst indicator of this nation's health.

For instance, there's the fact that we actually have to ask whether the Voting Rights Act should be reauthorized.

If your own mind is clear on that subject, sign this petition.

And if it's not...well, in that case, go screw yourself.

//The Magic Eight Ball says, "Choose wisely."\\

Awful Green Things

Awful Green Thing #1: I had occasion several times this month to pass by a certain reception desk which was decorated with numerous frog-related memorabilia in all the major tchotchke groups: plastic, porcelain, semiprecious stone and plush. In response, I went downtown to Merlyn's Games and bought a Heroclix figure of the Toad. To make him fit in better, I painted his brown and purple costume green. I left it at said reception desk, which happened to be unoccupied at the time. One more message in a bottle released into the world.

Awful Green Thing #2: The swamp-spawn known as Katherine Harris, to say nothing of her fellow Creatures From the Far Right. Watch the NARAL video here.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "It's not easy being green."\\

How To Strengthen Marriage

From : http://leftinthewest.com/index.php/2006/06/05/six-policy-solutions-to-truly-strengthen-marriage/


If you want to do something that actually helps marriages, then

1. Raise the public’s consciousnesas of the dignity and importance of women in our still deeply patriarchal society.

2. Provide every couple with a guarantee of health insurance that spares them the relational strains inflicted by devastating illness and an inability to pay for medical care.

3. Increase the minimum wage and offer tax breaks to the working poor so that spouses can see each other for more quality length of time, rather than briefly passing eachother on their way to two jobs.

4. Cover mental healthcare in medical insurance policies so that serious emotional difficulties can be prevented from tearing marriages apart.

5. Encourage family planning.

6. Set aside resources for dealing with domestic abuse. Well, at least, that’s a start.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "What you say you want and what you really want are not always the same thing."\\

2996

The 2996 Project is dedicated to memorializing the people who died in the terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001. All two thousand nine hundred and ninety-six identified deaths.

Watch this space, for September 11th, 2006.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Remember."\\

Dear Doctor Frist

Please schedule a vote on stem cell research.

Act like a doctor for once.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Unlike Doctor Laura, he really is one."\\

Mmmm...Bacon....

Jake sent me this:
http://mgrsti5395q.seamlesstech.biz/Merchant/2005TGP/BOM%20pages/bom.html

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "This is your lamest post yet, John."\\

A Spit-Take Question

Molly Ivins asks, "Have the Republicans lost their moral compass without Tom DeLay?"

Okay, now that you've finished your disbelieving snort at such an absurd thought, consider how much worse they've gotten since he left.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Many a truth were first spoken in jest."\\

How They Support Our Troops

Gradually adjusting to life without school -- will I ever be able to go back? Starting to do housework again, which I had let slide. Also starting to try to lose weight (ditto).

Kathe sent me this, a link to the weirdest commercial ever: http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/commercials/2971/

She also sent me a link to another stolen - laptop - full - of - your - personal - information: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2006/06/quite-odd-coinkydink.html


She also sent it to Jake, who responded with: http://ask.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/06/20/006211

So...just how many times can they have the same "accident" before we're allowed to become suspicious?

Christy Hardin Smith at Firedog Lake reveals that they're doing a heckuva job: http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/06/16/your-republican-government-at-workor-not/

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Surprise".\\

I've Always Wanted A Hidden Passageway in My Home

http://hiddenpassageway.com/

Haven't you?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "If I have a secret exit from this thing, I'm not telling."\\

Thank God He's On Our Side

Kathe sent me some links:

Look who's on the side of righteousness now: Burt Bacharach.

Consarn entertainment-industry leftists....

Tom S. Disch on Satan as a Teenager: http://tomsdisch.livejournal.com/22431.html?mode=reply&style=mine

The art, science and mathematics of origami: http://langorigami.com/

I found this one on my own: COMMON MONSTERS of the United States

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "The world does indeed need love."\\

*Who* Said That?

Kathe sent me this, under the heading "Now Don't Laugh":

“The weight of international leadership is not borne easily, but we as Americans are more than equal to this challenge, and we must be, for if we imagine a world without American leadership we are led inescapably to this solemn conclusion: If America does not serve great purposes, if we do not rally other nations to fight intolerance and support peace and defend freedom, and to help give all hope who suffer oppression, then our world will drift toward tragedy…We go into the world not to plunder but to protect; not to subjugate but to liberate; not as masters, but as servants of freedom.”

Condoleeza Rice said this at the Southern Baptists Convention



My response: "Is it all right if I sigh deeply?"

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Is it all right if I puke?"\\

I Don't Like Feeling This Way

It's very un-Quakerly of me, but I'm starting to think that the world would be a better place if Congressman John Murtha bloodied the nose of the next person who calls him a coward.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Is the fault in you, or in the world?"\\

The Physics Chanteuse

Jake sent me this link:
http://www.scientainment.com/pchant.html


Yes, Lynda Williams is cool, easily Bill Nye-worthy, but I still think Echo's Children is the best for scientific music, especially Cat Faber's literally awesome "Word of God"

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "The rocks themselves cry out."\\

Down the Blackwell Again

Back in 2004, I made a reference to votes that disappeared down the Memory Hole, "or as it's known in Ohio, the Blackwell".

Well, the lightless maw is wide open again for 2006, and this time its tongue has extra tentacles for snatching even more ballots.

So, in the words of Boss Tweed (a Democrat, which shows how times have changed), what are you going to do about it?

[Note: You don't have to live in Ohio to be concerned, and you don't have to live in Ohio to take action, either. Let them know the whole world is watching.]

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "___________" [Comment not found]\\

Dear Mary Cheney

I heard you on the radio today, saying that you continued to support George W. Bush in his successful* bid for re-election, in spite of his calls for a Constitutional amendment that would deny you the right to marry, because you sincerely believed that he was the one who should be President.

I hope that's true. If you really did make a stand on principle, and weren't just acting out of expediency, then it will be a lot easier for you to deal with the fact that there are millions of people out there who will never, ever forgive you.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas."\\

Just Fill the Prescription, Fellah

The lady already has a father.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Deal with it."\\

It's Not Funny Anymore

Look...

(deep sigh)

Let's just close the Guantanamo torture camp right now, okay?

We can talk later about war crime trials and civil rights lawsuits and truth and reconciliation committees, but for now...

Let's just stop, okay?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You know what you need to do."\\

Dear Dr. Frist

For once, act like a doctor.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Sure, why not?"\\

Happy Jesus Day To All*

And to all a "Good grief!"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Jesus H. Christ!"\\

The Original Artists

I'm embarrassed to admit that it took me until now to find out that "Al Qaida in Iraq" is actually an entirely separate organization from Osama bin Laden's group.

It reminds me of that old joke about those record albums that promise all songs were recorded "BY THE ORIGINAL ARTISTS*!"

*["The Original Artists" is the name of a band under exclusive contract to ConCo, Inc.]

Oh, well, I guess I'm not the only one to be a tad confused. Our local newspaper ran a cartoon depicting Al Qaida as a two-headed snake, with the OBL head looking alarmed at the sudden removal of the Zarqawi head.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "If you call a sheep's tail a leg, how many legs does it have?"\\

Credit George W. Bush With Another Abortion

The understandably anonymous author of What Happens When There Is No Plan B? adds "Not really" to the above attribution, but I don't think I want to cut him any slack on this one.

And the worst thing about it is that, yet again, the problem is not hate, but rather the true opposite of love: indifference.

Bush doesn't hate women. He doesn't want to hurt them needlessly. He just doesn't care.

Last lecture today. Finals on Monday and Tuesday.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Look to your own heart."\\

News Flash: African Americans Still Number One

I sit up here in the lookout, watching the crane swing back and forth, with the new buildings on the waterfront gradually rising towards it, feeling a bit og collegiality with the operator of the crane (who has to climb even more ladders than I do to get to his perch).

My father is spending a week in a nursing home with his hip screwed back together. I'm severely delayed in my attempts to become a nurse. My son Tesfaye is sick. Small wonder I retreat up here when I should be studying for the nursing final (because a D is better than an F).

Then I turn the opposite direction, towards the rising hilltop of the Oregon State University campus, and think about the study recently conducted there.

William Loges of OSU and Adrian Carpusor of USC sent out e-mails to landlords, inquiring after apartments advertised for rent. The inquiries were identical, except for the signatures: Patrick McDougall, Tyrell Jackson and Said al-Rahman.

Loges and Carpusor were interested to see how much of a difference those names would make, hypothesizing that McDougall would get more encouraging replies than Jackson, who would get more than al-Rahman.

But no: McDougall got an 89% approval rating, al-Rahman 66% and Jackson 56%.

That's right: in spite of everything news and entertainment media working together have tried, African Americans are still more hated than Arabs.

Looks like all that "trouble" Trent Lott laments hasn't been quite enough trouble.

Do you feel troubled?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Better if you feel troublesome."\\

This Man Belongs In An Institution

Over at Pandagon, jedmunds observes that Douglas Feith will not be welcomed by one and all when he takes up a teaching position at the School of Foreign Service at Georgetown University.

Jedmunds recalls an incident in which Henry Kissinger called the offices of the producers of Saturday Night Live, trying to get tickets to the show for someone. According to jedmunds, "Al Franken grabbed the phone, and yelled 'If it wasn’t for My Lai, you’d get your fucking tickets!' and hung up on him."

The mention of Henry Kissinger brings to mind Barry Crimmins’ book, Never Shake Hands With a War Criminal.
Ms. Kate makes an interesting case for ensconcing Feith at a prestigious academic institution, but not as a teacher. Rather it should be like the old joke about the inbred rural family who have a son at Harvard, “He ain’t studyin’ nothin’. They’re studyin’ him.”

If we can study and understand what makes a Feith, perhaps we can learn to screen such creatures out when they seek positions of influence, or possibly even abort them in the womb.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Never shake hands with a war criminal."\\

In a New York Minute, Or Something Like

"A New York minute was 54 seconds for a long time, the usual ten percent discount, but we dropped it to 51 seconds in the 1970s to keep up with the Japanese. These days it's hovering around 49.2 seconds."

"A Chicago minute? Look, the meter is gonna read sixty seconds. You got a problem with that?"

"A Philadelphia minute is sixty seconds long, but the minimum billable period is a quarter-hour."

"A Seattle minute is between 53.998 seconds and 54.0015 seconds, depending on time of day and local weather conditions."

"A Miami-Dade County minute is exactly sixty seconds, and anyone who tells you it's something else is a whacked-out hate-filled America-blaming moonbat!"

"An Oregon minute? Lessee.... Say, isn't it getting close to 4:20, dude?"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't sweat the small stuff."\\

Conservative Rock Songs

The National Review published an alleged list of the top 50 "conservative rock songs".

Everyone's disputing it, pointing out places where the compiler of the list has misunderstood the lyrics, or missed a very broad irony, and absolutely everyone, even NPR, is pointing out that "Stand By Your Man" is not, and never will be, rock & roll.

There's also the noteworthy fact that unquestionably conservative rockers like Skrewdriver and Prussian Blue were excluded from the list, apparently for being too conservative.

The spin most people are putting on this is that Republicans are trying way too hard to appear "cool", like the kids in high school who were desperate to join the "cool" clique. Thing is, I've always thought of the "cool" clique (we called them "sosh", rhymes with "gauche") as the quintessential conservative insitution: over here behind the velvet rope, we're the coolest, because we say so.

The kids who were really cool, of course, the ones who went on to become the actual rock musicians (and film directors, and game designers, &c.) were very seldom members of the "cool" clique, and usually held it in disdain. They also seldom grew up to be conservatives.

Lots of other people have kicked the snot out of the published list, and I have no interest in piling on. Instead, I'd like to offer to help my conservative fellow Americans by suggesting alternative songs for the list:

"The Times They Are A-Changin'" by Bob Dylan. With lyrics like "If your time to you
Is worth savin'/ Then you better start swimmin'/ Or you'll sink like a stone / For the times they are a-changin'", it eloquently exhorts self-reliance, and is especially pointed in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, in which all those lazy Negroes chose to be stranded by floodwaters.

Bad Moon by John Fogerty, Creedence Clearwater Revival: A stark endorsement of law-and-order policies: "One eye is taken for an eye".

"Who Will Save Your Soul" by Jewel: Hey, it's religious, right? And Religion is always conservative, right?

Piggies by George Harrison: A paean to traditional childrearing techniques. "What they need's a damn good whacking".

Law and Order by Tom Robinson: Yeah, baby!

Love Me, I'm a Liberal by Phil Ochs: What could be more conservative than making fun of liberals?

Finally, here's what I think of as the ultimate conservative rock song, a stirring tribute to the selfless and unquestioning courage of the American fighting man. I refer, of course, to the "Feel Like I'm Fixin' to Die Rag" by Country Joe and the Fish.

Well, that was pretty mean of me, and pretty frivolous, even if I did enjoy it. I ought to be focusing on finishing up the school year (so I'll at least get a D and not an F for the term), and on my poor father, who has broken his hip.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do it now."\\

Why Didn't More Democrats Oppose Hayden?

opednews.com's answer: Not Enough Primary Challenges

Yeah, that would explain it, all right.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I am not the one you should be asking."\\

As Much, and More

I'm not going to pass this term.

Well, tough beans.

What that means is, instead of coming back in the Fall, I'll be coming back next Spring.

I'll be coming back next Spring.

I'll be coming back next Spring.

I'll be back.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Life goes on."\\

Access to Birth Control

Why on Earth is that still an issue?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Beats me."\\

Nazanin Mahabad Fatehi

Once in awhile it's good to be reminded of what it's really like to live in a country where faith-based conservative organizations have taken over the government and re-established traditional family values.

Nazanin Mahabad Fatehi has been sentenced to death for killing a would-be rapist.

She's way over there in Iran, but you could still do something about it.

You could probably do more than I have, pretty easily.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do the right thing."\\

As Much

The highly-visible cooling tower of the Trojan Nuclear Power Plant was demolished today.

Kathe was impressed by the cooling-tower-shaped cloud visible here, but what impressed me was the shadowy figure of someone (I'd say Lloyd Marbet, except he was actually alive to see it in person) appearing in the dust cloud, raising a fist to smack the tower down.

I don't think nursing school is more than I can do, but I think it might be just as much as I can do.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Forward."\\

English Or Else

Now that we're going to have English as our official language, we'd better start geting used to speaking pure English. It's going to take a lot of practice, since we've gotten used to a very sloppy, contaminated dialect, but for the sake of the Homeland, we must adapt.

We can start with our lunch menu -- I mean, lunch food choices. As we look down the food court, we see a wide range of choices:
Corn Flatbread Bell1
Donaldson's2 Ground Beef
Giant Flatbread With Red Nightshade Sauce Hut3
New Virginsland Fried Chicken4

1 Not that we have anything against Spanish, of course we don't, not the slightest, but we're speaking English now, so get used to it.
2 Yes, as is done in other countries with an official language, we're going to have to adopt English names.
3 Yes, I know it's a cumbersome name, but it will have to do until the Department of Homeland Security issues an official English word for that food product.
4 We'll have to leave a discussion of the new place names, including the new names for the states, for another day. But I'm sure we'll be able to adapt, being the inventive and versatile people of the United States of the Northern New World.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Oy, vey."\\

Broke What?

The other day I saw a bumper sticker on a pickup truck. It showed photos of John Kerry and John Edwards and read "The Real Brokeback Mountain".

My first thought was, "cheap dumb shot: compare the Presidential and Vice Presidental candidates with a gay couple, a million laughs, classic right-wing tactic."

Then it hit me: Brokeback Mountain wasn't even released until 2005. Which means this was a campaign sticker designed and issued after the election.

Now why would anyone produce, much less display, campaign material after the fact?

1) Bush supporters are even slower on the uptake than we thought.

2) Force of habit: the real hard core will keep on campaigning for 2004 to keep warmed up for when the 2008 campaign begins in December of 2006.

But I really think it's

3) A vain attempt to assuage lingering guilt over the stolen election.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You know how to find out."\\

No Countdown!

A lot of people have started counting down the days until January 20th, 2009, but I'm not one of them.

If nothing else, if we wait that long without impeaching, convicting and jailing him, Bush may just grant himself the authority to cancel the election and rule by decree.

Fortunately, there are things we can do about it, starting with the Impeachment Kit at Redneck Mother.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "He who hesitates is lost."\\

I Wish I Knew How To Quit You, America

I keep right on loving you, no matter how many times you break my heart.

I tell myself that the things you do when you've got a war on aren't the real you. I tell myself that when I see you holding prisoners without trial, torturing people, burning children in their beds, even starving your own Marines, that it's not your fault: it's the stressful times, it's your anxiety about showing your age, it's fear of falling behind the neighbors. Above all, I keep trying to blame That Man. If I could just break you up with him, everything would be fine, right? But I know that really the problem goes deeper than that.

You do incredible things, marvelous things -- all of your friends envy your creativity. But you also waste so much of your time and your talent on mindless trivia.

You talk about religion and morality all the time, but I see the things you stoop to to finance your high-maintenance lifestyle.

You make young people worship you -- I know I wasn't the first or the last to be snared by you) and then you use them shamelessly.

I only wish I could just wash my hands of you, tell you to go to Hell, sit back and watch while you finally destroy yourself.

But I can't.

I love you, America.

God help me.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "The course of true love never did run smooth."\\

Shame on You, You...oh, Yes, and You

AT&T, Bell South and Verizon have been helping the NSA spy on us.

This is reprehensible.

They are hereby reprehended.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "That'll teach them."\\

Bootylicious Banana Split

Kathe and I don't get to do much together these days, but we do walk downtown when we get the chance.

Living just a few blocks from downtown, we can walk to almost everything: the library, the park, the waterfront, coffee shops, book stores, shoe stores, the post office, the arts center, the farmers' market.... It's good to be close to downtown.

Now there's a new pleasure downtown: the Rexall has opened up a genuine soda fountain, where soda professors in genuine white coats will serve you genuine ice cream sodas (and almost-genuine phosphates: they use citric acid instead of phosphoric).

It's deliberately quaint, mixing references from the 1950s, the 1920s, the 1900s and other periods as well (for instance, in offering a "Bootylicious Banana Split").

We're going there a lot these days. We want to encourage it, lest it lose money for the store and be closed.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Pleasure is where you find it."\\

I'm Still In School

Nursing school is hard. I've certainly said that often enough before, but I feel the need to say it again.

I don't exactly feel as though I can't do it, but I do sometimes feel pretty well burdened, as though I were digging through a gigantic heap of rubble, burrowing my way forward while the tunnel collapses behind me, and daylight a long way away.

But I'd rather be deep in that pile than falling into the Singularity of Wrongness alongside Glenn Reynolds (who wrote a post in which he managed five falsehoods in just four statements)

[I'm here reminded of the linguist's observation that the sentence "Them's them!" (affirming the identity of a plural subject) contains three grammatical errors in only two words.]

Yes, Barbie is right, this school stuff is tough. Still...well, I'll let the good old Magic 8-Ball tell it:

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "The way out is through."\\

Ewwww, Gross!

Kathe sent me this:

Hungary workers get shock at bottom of rum barrel

Thu May 4, 9:49 AM ET

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - Hungarian builders who drank their way to the bottom of a huge barrel of rum while renovating a house got a nasty surprise when a pickled corpse tumbled out of the empty barrel, a police magazine website reported.

According to online magazine www.zsaru.hu, workers in Szeged in the south of Hungary tried to move the barrel after they had drained it, only to find it was surprisingly heavy and were shocked when the body of a naked man fell out.

The website said that the body of the man had been shipped back from Jamaica 20 years ago by his wife in the barrel of rum in order to avoid the cost and paperwork of an official return.

According to the website, workers said the rum in the 300-liter barrel had a "special taste" so they even decanted a few bottles of the liquor to take home.

The wife has since died and the man was buried in a proper grave.

To which I replied:

1) I'm glad to see that you thought to send this one to Corinna [who is currently an apprentice mortician].

2) I don't know if they still do, but within living memory, British sailors referred to rum as "Nelson's Blood" because of the depleted state of the cask in which the martyred Admiral was shipped home.

3) This bit of morbid tippling, distressing as it may sound, is far less so than that story we both know from old Portland, the one where the man arrived at work to find five men slumped unconscious around the barrel they'd been drinking from, loaded them hastily onto a wagon and sold them to a ship's captain in the old Shanghai fashion (thereby making them someone else's problem), then went back to the funeral home and put the lid back on the barrel of formaldehyde.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "DOn't try to drink this blue stuff inside me, either."\\

What is the Sound of One Jaw Dropping?

Dev2.0?

I'd like to take a swing at whoever thought this up.

And a whip to whoever sold Disney the rights.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Whip it good."\\

Der Star Spengld Bener

I had an idea for a music video this morning:

The camera simply dissolves from one group of Americans singing "The Star-Spangled Banner" to another -- each of them singing in a different language. Maybe one of them would be singing one of the other three verses in English, too.

I'd like to see / hear that.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Patriotism is defined as finding common interests with your fellow citizens".\\

That's Right, Not Monorail, I said Monowheel!

Kathe sent me a link to a delightfully thorough page about monowheel vehicles (not unicycles, please, because these have their motive power on the inside of the wheel).

Alas, it left out my all-time favorite monowheel, the Blackhawks' legendary War Wheel.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You can't have everything -- where would you put it?"\\

Thank You, Ron Wyden

You filibustered in favor of a very good thing.

And you did it the old-fashioned way, by actually standing there and talking with your own personal voice.

Good for you.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There is no substitute for sincerity."\\

Saipan is a Beautiful Place

But terrible things happen there.

Women in China and India are lured in by promises of jobs in the United States, only to find themselves on a remote island, with no way to get home, working at jobs where they make products marked MADE IN USA but lack the normal wage and safety protections of American workers.

Assuming they aren't simply forced into prostitution.

Whether they labor in the factories or in the brothels, some of them inevitably get pregnant -- and are forced to get abortions.

And who can we thank for this state of affairs, all taking place under the Stars and Stripes? Why, the defenders of family values, of course!

Strange side note: as I said, this abuse is mainly suffered by women from the mainland, not native-born inhabitants of the Marianas -- who are mostly of German ethnicity.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Things happen."\\

The Ants Are My Friends, They're Blowin' in the Wind...

Kathe sent me a link to a very funny post about ants in the kitchen, which made me think about our own relationship with ants over the years.

We bought Lemony Death This and Jasmine Genocide That for years. Sometimes it worked, though never the way it was supposed to.

Our favorite was the sweet syrup bait that we were supposed to put out on little slips of cardboard, for the hungry ants to carry home and feed to the queen, thereby innocently killing her and dooming their family.

They carried it away by the spoonful, all right, but showed no sign of dying from it. On the other hand, they liked the bait so much that they stopped coming into the kitchen proper, contenting themselves with supping at the bait stations. That was fine by us, and we would have been happy to go on bribing them with the stuff (or Mrs. Butterworth's, if they preferred), but then they stopped responding to it. Oh, well.

Last summer, the ant activity was very modest, through no action of ours. Who knows what it will be in the coming months? Probably not even the ants know.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "When you start talking about what the ants know...."\\

This Is Not A Joke

It only sounds like postmodern satire. Bush really has hired Fox News talking head Tony Snow to be White House Press Secretary.

The phrase "interlocking directorate" comes to mind.

On the upside, did you know that state legislatures can impeach the President? Cool! Where's Oregon on this one?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Appearances can be...weird."\\

A Center of Crisis, Indeed

The saddest part is, groups like this actually provide a valuable service to people who choose to enter them fully informed.

The problem, of course, begins with the clause "enter them fully informed".

Human perversity continues to dismay me.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "The world is dark enough -- don't create more obscurity."\\

April 29th

Are you going to be there?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I am everywhere."\\

I Like Randi Rhodes (and Net Neutrality)

What can I say? I'm a sucker for the cheap, obvious things: blonde hair, big knockers and thinking that letting Bush start a nuclear war is a bad idea.

Oh, by the way: making Internet access a corporate privilege in both directions, no less, is also a bad idea.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Me, too."\\

365 New Superheroes

Or there will be, eventually.

I've decided to start a new blog, at which I will post one new superhero for each day of the next year.

No particular reason to. Nobody asked me for them. Just felt like it.

//The magic 8-ball says, "Why not?"\\

Which Organelle Are You?

TABLE cellPadding=20 align=center>


Mitochondria
You scored 80 Industriousness, 32 Centrality, and 7 Causticity!

You're a mitochondrion! The mitocondria is a "power plant" of the cell. Nothing could ever get done in the cell without you creating energy. Since both the Citric Acid cycle and Oxidative Phosphorylation happen inside the mitochondria, you are critical to every eukaryotic cell. You are always a hard worker, no matter what you are tasked to. Most of the time, you tend to be working in the background, but that often suits you just fine. You get along with almost everyone, and aren't these the most important things?

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 88% on Industriousness You scored higher than 44% on Centrality You scored higher than 0% on Causticity

Link: The Which Cell Organelle are you? Test written by fading_shadows on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Language Lesson

Tesfaye and the girls have lived in the U.S. for almost twelve years now, but once in awhile I'll still notice gaps in their English mastery.

The other day, I had to explain to Tes the phrase "rats deserting a sinking ship", and poiinted out the double-value of the metaphor: not only do you get to compare an organization in trouble to a sinking ship, but you also get to call its fleeing staff "rats".

And at times, the latter is especially gratifying.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Schadenfreude is safe only in small doses."\\

A Sign From Above

I paid tuition today,and while I was writing the check, my cell phone went off. While I answered the call and tried to finish writing the check, the clerk glared at me and said, "Please step to one side, and we can finish this when you're done with your call."
Startled, I looked over my shoulder and confirmed that there was nobody behind me, nobody anywhere in the corridor. Shrugging, I finished the call, handed over the check, apologized for inconveniencing the clerk (answered with a turned shoulder) and left, slowly growing more irritated with the clerk.
Oh, well, doubtless she's been offended by cell phoners who really did inconvenience her and other people in line. She was just taking it out on the latest cell phone user. Don't take it personally.
Um, right? Or not....
Driving towards my next stop of the day, I pulled up behind a liquid nitrogen tank truck. High on its rear end I saw the sign:
"Venting is normal".
Well, all right, then.

From Kathe comes a way to get some enjoyment out of those wretched cats-in-a-sack online arguments.

From Jake comes a link to a delightful site where they offer model kits that I would have sold my soul for when I was nine. Actually, they still look pretty good to me. Maybe after I'm done with nursing school....

From Hogan's Alley comes a link to a creepily cute new comic strip, Lio.

And from a hopeful e-mailing robot comes an appeal to sign a petition asking Congress to get cracking on the rebuilding of New Orleans, and crony contracts be damned.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "When life hands you lemons...."\\

Boo Hoo

From Kathe: "Bad news; the Oklahoma cannibal/pedophile killer gets more comments on his blog than you do. And it isn't even very interesting. Maybe they're his friends."

Tina Kotek, running for state Representative for the 44th District (North Portland). If I lived in her district, I'd vote for her, and if I had any money, I'd give her some, and if she were passing through Corvallis I'd rub her shoulders. She seems to be a good person, and ought to be able to do some good for her district, and for Oregon. And it will sure show all those boys who made fun of her name in the Fourth Grade.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Comparisons are odious."\\

Recognition Software

The Pro-Choice Public Education Project sounds like a worthy cause to me. Visit their site for yourself and see what you think.

I also think that Onward Oregon's mock primary sounds like a good idea, although maybe they should call it an "election simulator", or somthing. We've had enough mockery of democracy under the current administration.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Stop. Look. Think. Then act."\\

Happy Easter (amended)

Have a sweet day.

And a post-Easter update, in an e-mail from Kathe:

Roman Soldier: Spear hits Jesus for 15 damage.
Roman Soldier: Spear crits Jesus for 78 damage.
Jesus: Stunned.
Jesus: Dies.
[General] Jesus says: OMG HAX!
[Party] Jesus says: DAD, U NOOB PRIEST! REZ!!!!
[Party] Yahweh says: ...3 day cooldown. =(

Posted by: Dustin | April 16, 2006 07:39 PM (on Pharyngula)

This reminds me of the time I read the AD&D supplement _Deities and Demigods_ and immediately wrote up a character profile for Jesus, complete with +5/+7 Terrible Swift Sword (not peace but) and 40th-Level Thief (in the night) skills.

I'm sure other gamers have written worse.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Tsk, tsk."\\

"Oncology Class is Tough!"

But if Barbie can become a nurse, surely I can, too.

Elsewhere in the news:

Thesaurus Rex, posting at Shakespeare's Sister, introduces us to the word "Christiopath". Many Christians would take offense at this word, even though it isn't aimed at them, but take the word apart and see for yourself:" it doesn't say that Christianity is pathological, it says that some people's behavior is harmful to Christianity. And it certainly well is.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You should come around here more often."\\

One more from Kathe:

"Our president: consistent in his lawless behavior from the great offenses to the small:

iPodgate
| posted by Shakespeare's Sister | Monday, April 17, 2006 |

BoingBoing via Agitprop:

'President Bush's iPod contains songs by the Beatles; since no Beatles songs have been licensed for the iTunes Music Store yet, these must have come from ripped CDs. Remember last February, when the RIAA told a federal agency that ripping CDs is illegal? I wonder if they'll bring charges.'"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Signs point towards no."\\

There's Something on Your Pharyngula

No, actually, two things.

One of them is a veeeeery long timeline -- in both senses.

The other is a veeeery strange "reality" show.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Take care of your pharyngula and your pharyngula will take care of you."\\

That Explains It

Kathe sent me, by way of Pharyngula, Douglas Adams' perfect statement of the Anthropic Principle:

…imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in, fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!'

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Makes just as much sense, doesn't it?"\\

A Scary Movie

No, I mean Really Scary.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Once again, I'm glad I'm in here, and not out there with you guys."\\

Don't Nuke Iran

Dear Rulers:

No more wars until you've finished the ones you already started!

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't be greedy."\\

Go Talk Pretty

At Pandagon, they've been making merciless and well-deserved fun of a blithering twit who is rather down on people who use contraception. They're especially amused by her habit of referring to such persons as "contracepting".

One commentor, Karpad, says "It’s like HR people who created the word 'incent,' as in, 'We need to incent our employees to keep working hard.' Or worse, 'incentivize.' "

First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing, because verbing weirds language.
Then they arrival for the nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs.

Well, one can hardly expect a person who's so poor on rationality to be well up on grammar.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Hmph."\\

The Reverse the Raid on Student Aid Act of 2006

Catchy name, huh?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Huh."\\

Mother's Day

...was not invented by greeting card companies:

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe out dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

-- Julia Ward Howe, 1870

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "My mother the bowling ball would approve."\\

Dear Bill

Express your thoughts to the late Rev. William Sloane Coffin.

You could do worse things with your time.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Good idea."\\

A-Ha!

from the Green Knight (http://thegreenknight.blogspot.com/):

" 6-6-6 "

"F - O - X " Upon checking the letters of FOX "News" the first letter--F is the 6th letter of the alphabet, the second letter--O is the 15th, 1+5=6, and X is the 24th, 2+4=6. OH MY GOD ! FOX=666. Coincidence ?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There are no coincidences [cue ominous music]."\\

Cutting Out The Middleman

WASHINGTON — President Bush nominated infinitely rapacious cosmic entity Galactus on Thursday to be his new interior secretary.

If confirmed by the Senate, Galactus, 11 Billion, will replace Gale Norton, who resigned last week.

Bush said Galactus, Third Force of the Universe and Devourer of Worlds, wields the Power Cosmic and has broad experience needed for eating the 388 parks of the National Park system, 544 wildlife refuges and more than 260 million acres of multiple-use lands located mainly in 12 Western states, in addition to the rest of the planet.

"Galan understands that those who live closest to the land know how to manage it best, and he will begin preparations to digest our planet immediately," Bush said.

Galactus promised to construct giant machines in the heart of Manhattan in order to "suck the very essence from the land and consume the natural resources with which your planet has been blessed."


from mountainofjudgment.blogspot.com , by way of Kathe.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "What's Middleman's secret identity?"\\

By the Sweat of Your Eyeballs

Noah T. Winer of MoveOn invites you to watch Sunday morning talk TV, and then kvetch about the blatant conservative bias thereon.

Well, if you really want to....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Somebody has to do it."\\

The George W. Bush Childhood Home

Take a look.

Do you believe that the scion of New England aristocrats ever lived in this house?

Or is this log cabin as phoney as Andover George's Texan accent?

//The Magic-8-Ball says, "Maybe it's the gatehouse."\\

Suited to the Occasion

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Truer words...."\\

Color Coding

I knew vaguely that NBC had at one time had two parallel networks, the Red Network and the Blue, and that one of them had been sold off and become a separate network. I'd always had a vague intention to look up which network was which -- was the modern NBC the Blue Network? Was CBS the Red?

I had the feeling that ABC was the original competitor to NBC -- the American network versus the National, like with baseball leagues, right? -- and with those names taken, the spinoff network had to settle for the lesser alternative of "Columbia", right? But somehow I never thought to look them up when I was on the Internet, or at the library.

Today I finally did think of looking it up, and found that I was, as is so often the case, about half right:

NBC was the first commercial broadcast network. Almost from the first, they had separate Red and Blue feeds (also regional networks called White, Orange and Gold). Also almost from the first, their upstart rival CBS (founded by the Columbia record label) complained that the color-coded networks were the beginnings of a broadcast monopoly. In 1937, the Blue Network was sold off, briefly known simply as "the Blue Network" and eventually renamed ABC, while NBC retained the Red Network.

Some people at NBC remembered over the years: when they adopted their "Big N" logo in 1976, it was made up of two identical shapes, one red and one blue. In 1992, the network ran three separate feeds of Olympic coverage: Red, White and Blue.

Well, I suppose very few people under seventy know or care about all this, but I'm pleased to finally know the whole story. I still harbor a fond hope that one day NBC will offer Red andBlue" cable feeds, even though these days people would doubtless be expecting some "Red and Blue political agenda.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Knowing where you come from helps you to know where you're going."\\

The Amazing Power of Bill O'Reilly

He makes me think seriously about watching Keith Olbermann's show.

Know what would make me feel powerful? Believing that my votew in the 2006 election will be counted.

I doubt whether buying a pixel's worth of the Internet would make me feel powerful, but it doesn't cost much.

Still, disempowered as I am, at least I don't have to eat off this menu.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Easy, there."\\

Dances with Golden Retrievers

Spring Break progresses. I have downloaded my first reading assignments for Spring Term, but have not yet started on them. Gee whiz, it's only Wednesday.

Kathe sent me a link to a story which is funny, but also a chilling object lesson. The lesson being, buy a paper shredder (or gerbils).

And speaking of animal-based tehcnology, Jake sent me a link to an article about cybernetic war-butterflies.

Kathe also sent me a link to the Worst. Website. Ever. It reminded both of us of the posters people made, back when the Mac was new, unable to restrain themselves from printing in a dozen different fonts.

Much better websites, also visited by me due to a link sent me by Kathe, include Waste and Chase Me Ladies, I'm in the Cavalry
.

Finally, Kathe sent me a link to a video which confirms the stereotype that Golden Retrievers are immensely fond of running around and playing -- and demolishes the stereotype that they're stupid.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Honor competence, even among the humble."\\